As a mom to two daughters, teaching them to embrace who they are—inside and out—is one of the most important lessons I want to pass along. My oldest daughter is only three, but she’s already fascinated by makeup. She watches me in awe when I sit down at my vanity, her tiny fingers swiping my Charlotte Tilbury lipstick when I’m not looking (leaving me with nothing but an expensive nub), and she insists on applying her chapstick every day with the determination of a beauty vlogger. When I get all glammed up for a wedding or an event, she practically squeals with delight, calling me a “princess.”
But here’s the catch: I want her to grow up knowing her self-worth isn’t tied to what she looks like on the outside. I want her to see makeup as a form of self-expression, a creative outlet—not a box she needs to check to meet unrealistic beauty standards. Balancing those two ideas isn’t always easy. How do I encourage her to play and explore while making sure she understands she’s already beautiful, exactly as she is?
Turns out, it might be simpler than I thought.
The power of “fancy” over “pretty”
Recently, a viral TikTok from mom Maggie Katz caught my attention. In the video with nearly 67,000 views, Maggie and her daughter are standing in front of the bathroom mirror, putting on makeup together. But it wasn’t just the sweet bonding moment that struck me—it was Maggie’s choice of words.
“You look so fancy,” she tells her daughter.
Not pretty. Not beautiful. Fancy.
And when Maggie asks her daughter why they wear makeup, she replies, “Because it’s fun and we get to look fancy.” Maggie reinforces the message, reminding her daughter that she’s “pretty no matter what.”
It’s such a small change, but the shift is profound. Rather than framing makeup as something that enhances or fixes flaws, it becomes purely about creativity and fun. It’s not about becoming anything—it’s about celebrating who you already are.
@maggiekatz The words we hear growing up have an impact ❤️ #makeup #momsoftiktok #raisingdaughters #fancy ♬ original sound – Maggie Katz
Related: DIY Dollar Tree vanity can keep your kids out of your makeup (finally)
The ripple effect of small changes
The comments on Maggie’s TikTok are filled with parents adopting this approach:
- “I’ve been trying to think of a way how to explain why I do certain things to my girls without making them believe they ‘need’ to do it. This is amazing. 🙏🏻”
- “Between this and ‘Oh, I’ve gotten too strong for these pants’ when my daughter outgrows clothes, my brain is being rewired.”
- “I needed this as a kid. 🥲”
It’s not just about the word “fancy”—it’s about the mindset it represents. This shift helps kids see makeup as a choice, not an expectation. It’s a way to decorate yourself because you want to—not because anyone else says you should.
Maggie also shared that this approach works with her son, reminding him that beauty is everywhere and everyone is special in their own way. Imagine the confidence we’d all have today if we had grown up hearing these messages.
Changing the narrative, one word at a time
For generations, makeup has been marketed as a necessity for women to feel “acceptable” or “worthy.” But Gen Z is turning that narrative on its head with bold eyeliner, playful colors, and unapologetic creativity. Makeup is becoming less about correction and more about expression.
As parents, we have a unique opportunity to reinforce this shift by being intentional with our words. Whether it’s “fancy,” “glamorous,” or “fun,” we can help our kids understand that makeup is an option—not an obligation.
Related: ‘Mommy, I need makeup’
My promise to my daughters
The next time my three-year-old smears pink gloss across her face and grins proudly, I’ll tell her she looks fancy. I’ll let her play, explore, and express herself, all while reminding her that she’s already perfect as she is.
Because if there’s one thing I want my daughters to know, it’s this: makeup can add sparkle, but their shine comes from within.
